mynewchapter

Saturday, March 7, 2009

OH ITS MY BROTHER'S 16TH BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!!!!

AND ITS DANNY'S BIRTHDAY TOOO!!!!!!

:)

and so i said... 7:56 AM

oh cool. long time never blog. well. not here at least.

time pass so fast. wow.... half a semester has gone already. 0_o befire u know it. i finish year 1. nice. omg... 2 more years to graduate. or 3. see how la, depends if i get a job or not. the economy is super bad right now, and graduates r finding it hard to get a job now. haiz. this is bad. very bad. and im worried sick about being unemployed after my graduation.

so i will do my best and sacrifice whatever to stay on top of the game and do my best in this. will try to get a good degree at the end of the day and get a job. if not, think i'll go into teaching. haiz. regretted not having studied harder or smarter in the past. its like a snowball effect. dun do well in pri sch, u'll go into a so-so sec sch. then u do ok-ok in sec sch, u get into an ok-ok junior college, from that ok-ok JC, u get a normal/non-special degree course in NUS. haiz.

story of my life. :( of course, there were tons of variable in btw that shaped my past this whole time, like having to live overseas for a while and coming back (boy, that disrupted my studies here as well as my so-called 'gifted mugger at P3' streak) and possibly the absence of a dad who travels overseas a lot. also probably WHERE in the world i studied for my exams count too. i mean, i dun think the beautiful seaside in West England or the snowy slopes of Scotland is a conducive environment for revising for one's PSLE. ur surroundings will just distract u from ur studies. -___-"

ah well. its ok. wat's done is done. now im hungry. *stomach grumbling*
just had an interesting day yesterday which consisted of a major mid-term exam and meeting e parents. hahaa.... the 2 most stressful scenarios that i COULD EVER THINK OF happened together all at once yesterday. perfect.

luckily both turned out okay. so all is well in the world. :)

now i wanna enjoy sleeping and relaxing before i have to continue with my work again. they're piling up. sigh.

and so i said... 7:42 AM

Sunday, February 15, 2009

no words can describe how elated i feel yesterday. which was valentine's day.
never felt so loved by anyone before. and he made it all seem right.
i feel like i don't deserve his attention, his heart, his soul, him.
i an deeply moved. and touched by all that he has done for me.
to accept me into his life was good enough.
but to make himself a part of my life was what touched me the most.

i know this is hard to believe.
i know it seems rushed.
but since when did we allow Time to dictate our lives?
this feels right.
it feels good.
and i have faith it will last.

thank you sayang.

and so i said... 2:08 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2009

gosh im super depressed now. haiz. its ridiculous. :(
dun feel like blogging abt it. i just need a listening ear i guess.

e funny thing is. im not even sure WHY im depressed. i just am.

and so i said... 8:21 PM

Friday, January 23, 2009

u know, i feel so tired but i still wanna blog abt today. for many reasons. some gd. some bad. but mainly for remembrance sake.

ok. i shall start with sch. today sch was gd. sea lecture was quite ok in terms of content. not boring at all. the quiz was super easy.. and i feel a full 5% to my grade. and then my nm lecture was sooo funny!! the lecturer is so adorable. he makes all these weird lame jokes and e whole lecture laughed like crazy, not cos his joke was funny but how he said e joke was.

and then there was someone's birthday...

and then there were other things as well. it turned out fine in the end i think. tho i do not know the full result of it.
speaking of hard, qalbu is ever increasing in size and e cast is pretty gd so far. my main cast's r filled so far but i still need one more.

haiz.
sleepy..

and so i said... 9:14 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2009

im stressed. and im not lying.

this semester will be e toughest semester i will ever face.
why? cos i will not do such things ever again. haiz. no more pls.
so many offers to be so many different kinds of project directors and committee directors.

i will say no.
my studies are more important. and my family and e many many sayangs i've got.
they need me. and i need them to keep me sane.

haiz. life is just not that easy.
can't get everything u want. not all the time at least.
i have to know my limitations.
and i have to be brave enough to say no.

and so i said... 10:11 AM

Friday, January 16, 2009

hmmm.... give me a sec. im pondering.

im having weird cravings regularly for all sorts of food and drinks.
i feel bloated and sick sometimes.
im pretty hormonal at times.
i feel like im eating more than necessary. like seriously. its scary when u know how much food i can consume in a day.
im gaining weight. arghhh.
my tummy feels so much bigger for sum reason. weird. like got sudden inflation. other parts feel inflated too. hmm.

how weird is tt? :( wonder wat's wrong wif me.

aniwae, onto my first week of semester 2 in my lovely university, NUS. i'll jus say my feelings out in point form.

- darn u CORS!!!!! *smashes CORS in the head.. if it HAS a head tt is...*
- feel like dropping a module. really...
- wish i could just get the tutorials i want. i hate balloting!!!!!
- french is funnn :)) took e lecture tt has my ex-last-sem-tutor in it. which is gd. she rmbs me :)
- sea exp mod is quite interesting i must say. lecturers and tutors r funny...
- nm2220 is scary. the lecturer's all scaring us and stuff. very demanding module.
- nm2101 is ok. boring in terms of content but the lecturer is cute and funny in tt little lame nerdy way. he's like in my fav lecturer list now.
- islam mod was ok. a lot of familiar faces in the lecture. the content is pretty dry tho. hard for me to concentrate. haiz. this is e mod tt i was considering of dropping. but i dun think i will la.
- hence i decided to just stick to my 5 and work my very hardest on it. yep yep. study late night and stuff then. will mug till i die.

okies won't be blogging much frm now on. studies come first... :)

and so i said... 9:44 PM

Sunday, January 11, 2009

now i feel pissed and depressed and worried and angry :( argh!

im afraid for my production and the timeline.
im petrified at the lack of cast members and pple's enthusiasm to act in the play.
im angry at how easy it is for pple to just cancel meetings on me when i already pre-planned my moves 5 steps ahead. now everything has to change because of it.
im seriously pissed whenever someone tries to make me feel better but ends up hurting me instead.

this is ridiculous.

and so i said... 10:31 PM

Saturday, January 10, 2009

lately, i've been feeling so bloated. i can definitely explain with the kind of lifestyle i led ever since sem 1 ended. was slacking at home and hanging out with friends too often. was eating unbalanced meals and not exercising at all. haiz.

CHANGE IS COMING.

yes. i will be like barack obama and will go on a strict diet from now on. will exercise more too, tho tt won't be a problem as NUS is a workout on its own with all the staircases and such. but of course la. will go gym with my daddy. and if possible, i'll go during my free days. maybe bring a friend or two.

went out today on another outing with him and his friends. well one of them is already my friend since primary sch. had a gd time today i must say. west coast park super breezy today. mmmmmm.... and tons of ang-mohs around apparently. haha... and kite-flying too. :) now tt makes two outings with him and his friends. hmmmm. wonder if im not spending enough time with my OWN friends. i have been skipping apex sessions and have been feeling guilty about that for so long now. :( haiz... i promised the kids that i will return and teach them. insyaallah i will try my best and make it for next week's session. :)

sem 2 is starting in 2 days. i got my 5 modules. sea mod, communications theories, media writing, french and islam mod. all sounds interesting. but im afraid i will have to drop one of them for the sake of my grades cos i fear i may not be able to cope with all five AND still have to direct and produce a theatre production AND continue doing my radiopulze gigs like DJ-ing and hosting shows AND make time for APEX at madrasah irsyad AND tutoring my brother and cousins.

*phew* that's a lot of things to do huh. yeah, mayb just 4 modules then. most probably i might be dropping the islam one. but see first. i could easily drop the french one too. islam is easier to manage but french is my passion and i love to study that! arghhhh... so hard to pick.... darn.

oh well. might as well start preparing. i will trial run my first week of sch and see which mod pisses me off more. then i drop la. :) hehe...

okiess... gtg cya.

and so i said... 9:03 PM

Friday, January 2, 2009

went out wif danny today. it was like 'Mission Impossible: Qalbu'.... walked a lot. sweat a lot. sweaR a lot. fought a lot. ok la, not fight. more like showing BFF loveee to one another. compared *ahem ahems* a lot. ponder a lot. and got lost a lot.

yep. danny, if ur reading this.... i still love u k? *hugs and kisses*

for those who don't know, we actually sent the cheque to NAFA today. was hoping to meet the assistant manager of e place but e office was closed. so we sent it thru mail. the hard part was walking to NAFA itself, as well as finding a post office. -_- haiz. and i tried to use my phone to help me out. but i forgot my wireless account number. hmmm. haiz.

den i went to e library and met bf there. found cool books which others dun find cool at all. like e philosophy of buffy and star trek guides, and e art of directing a play. ah well. nothing much really. if only i could stay longer at e library... oh well.

wow my feet hurt frm walking too much. did tons of walking todayy.... goshh....

and so i said... 10:03 PM